Genesis 18:30 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?” He answered, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”
Commentary says, “Abraham’s humility was demonstrated in that nowhere in his prayer did he ask why or did he demand that God explain Himself and His actions.” Immediately that gets my hackles up a bit because I have been in periods of difficult trial, and always, always in my struggling and processing and grieving, I wrestle with the why.
Genesis 18:31 Abraham said, “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?” He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it.”
I have literally stomped around my backyard, screaming at God to explain Himself, to tell me why. I never got answers, but I was met with the assurance that even when nothing is right and no answers are forthcoming, that God is still with me, that He loves me fiercely, that He is gracious and compassionate, even when life isn’t.
Genesis 18:32 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?” He answered, “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.”
Precious Savior, Forgive me if my demand for answers and explanations as I try to process darkness and chaos is a sign that I need to work on my humility. I’m not trying to be arrogant. I am trying to wrap my head around my circumstances, to draw closer to You at times when You feel so very far away. Thank You for Your eternal love for me. Thank You that even though You don’t always give me answers, You do give me the assurance that You are with me. Always. Amen.
Genesis 18:33 When the Lord had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home.
Have a blessed day.