Standing firmly on His promises…. (devo reflection)

Gen 20:9 Then Abimelek called Abraham in and said, “What have you done to us? How have I wronged you that you have brought such great guilt upon me and my kingdom?…”
When I think of the Father Abraham I was taught about in my youth, Gen 15:6 is what comes solidly to mind, when God had him look up at the stars and told him that his offspring would be that numerous. “Abram believed the LORD, and He credited it to him as righteousness.”
Gen 20:11 Abraham replied, “I said to myself, ‘There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’”
So it is easy for me to sit in judgement of this Abraham that I keep seeing, the one who keeps lying about Sarah being his sister, the one who keeps justifying his actions. But I don’t think that’s why God is bringing me to these passages. He told Abraham not to be afraid because He is Abraham’s shield and his very great reward (Gen 15:1), and yet time and again Abraham lies and takes matters into his own hands. Why? Is he afraid God won’t keep His promise? Is he worried God didn’t mean what He said? Is he anxious about God’s timing? Jesus, Help me.
Gen 20:12 “Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife.”
Lord, Thank You for this day and for this scripture, as painful as it is for me to realize I often act just as faithless as Abraham in these passages. Thank You for Your fierce love, even in the face of my fears and justifications. You promise to be my shield and my very great reward (Gen 15:1). You promise to never leave me nor forsake me (Heb 13:5). Help me to stand firmly on those promises without fear, worry, or anxiety, regardless of Your timing or the obstacles I face. I know I can trust You, Lord. Wrap me in Your peace. Draw me closer. Amen.
Gen 20:13 “And when God had me wander from my father’s household, I said to her, ‘This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.” ‘ “
Have a blessed day.