Acts 9:19b Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus.
Again I have so many questions. What did Saul *think* about this profound change? How did he *feel* about his previous behavior and his new life? Was the old so completely gone that he couldn’t marvel at the fact that his old self, the epitome of a Pharisee, who had gleefully hunted and killed Christians, no longer existed?
Acts 9:20 At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God.
Did he feel any guilt at all about his prior behavior? I think I would have been eaten up with guilt, as pointless as that would be. If the scales were gone from his eyes to the point that he truly understands Jesus, wouldn’t he have been so paralyzed with guilt for his previous actions that he would have been unable to move forward? How sad would that have been?
Acts 9:21 All those who heard him were astonished and asked, “Isn’t he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on this name? And hasn’t he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests?”
Precious Savior, You know that I struggle with doubt, guilt, anger, and bitterness. Any one of those traits could have stopped Saul dead in his tracks, which would have been a huge loss since he was such a shining apostle for You. Help me not to beat myself up, help me not to waste precious resources being bitter or angry or feeling doubt or guilt. None of that will shine Your light. Help me to leave them all at Your feet. Amen.
Acts 9:22 Yet Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Messiah.
Have a blessed day.