A Work in Progress….

Genesis 45:13 Tell my father about all the honor accorded me in Egypt and about everything you have seen. And bring my father down here quickly.”

I wonder what everyone was thinking and feeling in this situation. I see that Joseph hugged and kissed Benjamin and then all of his brothers. He wept over his brothers. But what was going through their minds? Their hearts?

Genesis 45:14 Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. 

Were they consumed with guilt? Were they terrified of retribution? Did they realize after all they had endured that they didn’t have to feel guilt or fear retribution because Joseph had well and truly forgiven them? How did they get to that place of forgiveness, acceptance, letting go?

Genesis 45:15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him.

Precious Savior, Again You are showing me that I’ve got a lot of ground to cover when it comes to forgiveness and trust, letting go and moving on. I readily admit that I struggle in these areas. Help me, Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 45:16 When the news reached Pharaoh’s palace that Joseph’s brothers had come, Pharaoh and all his officials were pleased.

Have a blessed day.

Genesis 45:9 Now hurry back to my father and say to him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don’t delay. 

What a spectacular way to resolve this situation–allegations of lying and cheating, past evil deeds (selling your brother into slavery), entrapping the youngest to test the others…Joseph being alive and in a position to save the rest of the family from five years of famine is quite the surprise. The brothers didn’t even know to pray for this solution.

Genesis 45:10 You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me—you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. 

I’ve been in situations where I have pleaded with God over a situation. I’ve seen Him answer my prayers in a spectacular manner. I’ve seen Him leave doors firmly closed that I was positive He would open. I’ve turned situations over to Him that I still have no idea how He resolved, I just knew it was absolutely out of my hands and I had to let it go.

Genesis 45:11 I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute.’

Precious Savior, Sometimes it is so hard for me to put things in Your hands and say, “Thy will be done.” I know that’s ridiculous, but it’s true. Forgive me that I want things handled my way. Help me to trust You–always and in every situation. I know You are sovereign and You love me fiercely. I know You are working all things to my good and Your glory. Help me to trust, Lord. Help me. Amen.

Genesis 45:12 “You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that it is really I who am speaking to you.

Have a blessed day.

Genesis 45:5 And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.  

I’ll be honest…while I admire Joseph’s attitude here, I am having a really difficult time with it. Perhaps he has dealt with his anger at his brothers’ actions “off the page” and we just didn’t see it, but I would have a hard time being as generous as he even if I felt God had used the events to my good and His glory.

Genesis 45:6 For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping.

I absolutely know that says something about me and exposes an area that God has been working with me on for quite a while: trust and forgiveness. Seems a little silly since I’ve never had to deal with anything on the scale of forgiving my siblings for selling me into slavery nor languishing in an Egyptian prison, but here we are.

Genesis 45:7 But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.

Precious Savior, This morning I feel You calling me once again to work on my issues of trust and forgiveness. You know these are difficult for me, and I know that You call me to get over myself and figure out how to incorporate both more generously into my life. Forgive me. Help me. Amen.

Genesis 45:8 “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt.

Have a blessed day.

Genesis 45:1 Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. 

I have tried and failed to imagine what I might do in this situation. This Egyptian official, who has been incredibly stern, who has accused me of stealing (and made it look like I was stealing), who demanded I bring my youngest brother, is actually the brother I helped sell into slavery 22 years ago, the brother I was all set to murder before the slavery plan was hatched.

Genesis 45:2 And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh’s household heard about it.

I would be terrified, afraid for my life, convinced that said brother would murder me (or at the very least, sell me into slavery) to settle the score. I’d be incredibly confused by said brother’s tears and crying out. I would not feel that I deserve forgiveness because I would not have been able to forgive myself.

Genesis 45:3 Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.

Precious Savior, That last sentence resonates: “I would not feel that I deserve forgiveness because I would not have been able to forgive myself.” We are human, flawed, deeply fallible. We make mistakes every single day. Help us to forgive ourselves and to come to You for forgiveness so that we don’t live shackled with chains that You never intended for us to bear. Help us, Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 45:4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt!

Have a blessed day.

Genesis 44:30-31 “So now, if the boy is not with us when I go back to your servant my father, and if my father, whose life is closely bound up with the boy’s life, sees that the boy isn’t there, he will die. Your servants will bring the gray head of our father down to the grave in sorrow.

Commentary talks about Judah offering himself as a substitutionary sacrifice. “Keep me as your servant instead of my brother.” He knows that Benjamin is the favored son of his father. He knows how hard Joseph’s “death” was on Jacob. He knows his role in the whole affair.

Genesis 44:32 Your servant guaranteed the boy’s safety to my father. I said, ‘If I do not bring him back to you, I will bear the blame before you, my father, all my life!’

He knows he bears great responsibility in Joseph’s fate. Instead of trying to weasel out, Judah steps up and offers himself in the place of Benjamin so that Jacob does not lose another favored son. Those actions are a far cry from the Judah of 22 years ago, suggesting they sell Joseph instead of killing him so there is no blood on their hands.

Genesis 44:33 “Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord’s slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return with his brothers. 

Precious Savior, This idea of substitutionary sacrifice resonates deeply because it is what Your Son did for me–gave His life, His perfect, sinless life, in exchange for my sins. I did not deserve that sacrifice. I could never earn it. And yet, He freely gave His life for mine. I am humbled and grateful. Thank You. Amen.

Genesis 44:34 How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? No! Do not let me see the misery that would come on my father.”

Have a blessed day.

Genesis 44:27 “Your servant my father said to us, ‘You know that my wife bore me two sons. 

I have to keep reminding myself that this Judah–the Judah who went along with his brothers’ ideas, who suggested instead of leaving his brother to rot in a well they sell him to the Egyptians, who lied to his father about the fate of his father’s favored son, regardless of the toll it took on the father–this Judah is the ancestor of Jesus.

Genesis 44:28 One of them went away from me, and I said, “He has surely been torn to pieces.” And I have not seen him since. 

I’m reminded yet again that if God can take someone with a heart and a history like that and change him, He can do that for and with anyone. We are already seeing the evidence of Judah’s change: he put himself on the line as surety for Benjamin’s safety, he’s imploring Joseph to think of his father’s health (meaning that he’s thinking of it, too), he’s being honest and vulnerable.

Genesis 44:29 If you take this one from me too and harm comes to him, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in misery.’

Precious Savior, I have so much on my mind at present. Maybe Genesis is about the fact that You can use imperfect people in Your kingdom work. Maybe it’s about the power of second chances. Maybe it’s about the fact that we are all capable of change, of becoming who God created us to be. Help me to love others as You love. Amen.

Genesis 44:30-31 “So now, if the boy is not with us when I go back to your servant my father, and if my father, whose life is closely bound up with the boy’s life, sees that the boy isn’t there, he will die. Your servants will bring the gray head of our father down to the grave in sorrow.

Have a blessed day.

Genesis 44:23 But you told your servants, ‘Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you will not see my face again.’ 

I have been working my way through Genesis for the past ten months, and one thing that I have seen and marveled at again and again is the fact that God uses imperfect people. Somewhere in my child’s mind growing up, I decided that God only used perfect people and I am so very far from perfect that it is laughable, so He obviously can’t use me.

Genesis 44:24 When we went back to your servant my father, we told him what my lord had said.

Except that’s not true. Not a single one of the people God has called and used in Genesis is perfect. In fact, some of them have been eyebrow-raisingly, alarmingly imperfect. So what does that mean? God can use me, with my flawed humanity, my imperfect nature, my repeated missteps. He can and will and does use me in His kingdom work *if* I allow.

Genesis 44:25 “Then our father said, ‘Go back and buy a little more food.’ 

Precious Savior, Thank You. I know that I am not enough, not perfect, not sinless. But I also know that I don’t need to be because I am Your deeply, completely, fiercely, graciously loved child. Thank You that, even though I make mistakes daily, You can and will and do use me to shine Your light and point others to You. Amen.

Genesis 44:26 But we said, ‘We cannot go down. Only if our youngest brother is with us will we go. We cannot see the man’s face unless our youngest brother is with us.’

Have a blessed day.

Genesis 44:15 Joseph said to them, “What is this you have done? Don’t you know that a man like me can find things out by divination?”

I am still struggling with whether this is a test set by Joseph that God uses or a test set by God, who instructs Joseph. It feels incredibly pointed, but Joseph gets the information he is after: His brothers have changed.

Genesis 44:16 “What can we say to my lord?” Judah replied. “What can we say? How can we prove our innocence? God has uncovered your servants’ guilt. We are now my lord’s slaves—we ourselves and the one who was found to have the cup.”

Twenty years ago, they sold him into slavery. Now, they have pledged to all be slaves, not just Benjamin, in whose bag the cup was found. These “middle-aged men…of relative privilege” (from commentary) put their fate in with the favored younger brother without a second thought.

Genesis 44:17 But Joseph said, “Far be it from me to do such a thing! Only the man who was found to have the cup will become my slave. The rest of you, go back to your father in peace.”

Precious Savior, Thank You for this reminder that people can change. I can sometimes be quick to judge and slow to let go of a grudge. Forgive me. Help me to see others as You see them. Help me to give others (and myself) grace upon grace as we strive to become more like You. Amen.

Genesis 44:18 Then Judah went up to him and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, let me speak a word to my lord. Do not be angry with your servant, though you are equal to Pharaoh himself.

Have a blessed day.

Genesis 44:11 Each of them quickly lowered his sack to the ground and opened it. 

Instead of talking about the scripture today, I want to talk about the commentary I read each day along with the scripture. I’ll be honest. Sometimes I read scripture and have no clue what is going on. Sometimes I don’t understand why something is being emphasized. Reading commentary often helps me make sense of things.

Genesis 44:12 Then the steward proceeded to search, beginning with the oldest and ending with the youngest. And the cup was found in Benjamin’s sack. 

But you might remember that I said I intentionally read commentary that I don’t always agree with and sometimes vehemently disagree with. That’s to, hopefully, keep myself from the echo chamber effect of solidifying my beliefs because there is nothing to challenge them. I am also learning, really slowly, to sit with questions I don’t have answers to. That’s still really difficult for me.

Genesis 44:13 At this, they tore their clothes. Then they all loaded their donkeys and returned to the city.

Precious Savior, Thank You for the process of reading, studying, and trying to understand Your word. Thank You that some days You reveal truths, some days You help me see prejudices, some days You leave me with questions so that I will continue to read, study, and seek You. Help me, every day, to draw closer to You and shine Your light. Amen.

Genesis 44:14 Joseph was still in the house when Judah and his brothers came in, and they threw themselves to the ground before him.

Have a blessed day.