A Work in Progress….

I am trying to make a concerted effort to get better at choosing joy daily. I still have varying degrees of success, but I’m getting at least microscopically better at seeing the joy, the beauty, and the positive, even when the ”squeaky wheels” in my life are screaming.

Anxiety is something that I often find myself dealing with, but as I read this verse this morning, the phrase “with thanksgiving” jumped out at me. I try to be thankful. That’s part of choosing joy, but what if I train myself, when anxiety is great within me, to begin my prayers with, “Lord, Thank You for being with me in this situation, for the fact that I do not have to face this alone”? I really feel like that could be a game changer in my ability to follow the advice of Phil 4:6.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for Your steadfast love and presence. Thank You for the reminder that because I am not of this world and this world is not my home, I can rejoice, regardless of my circumstances, because there’s something much better waiting for me. Thank You for the reminder to approach You with a heart full of gratitude, especially in the fact that You are with me, no matter my circumstances. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

We are having a series of conversations as a church, exploring topics, brainstorming, dreaming about where our Savior may lead us. I have been “churched” my entire life and have never been a part of conversations like this. Church has always felt very established, the gears already moving—without us? In spite of us? So the idea that because we are the church, His hands and feet, we need to at times step back and look at the bigger picture and be sure we are moving in the right direction, His direction, feels so foreign, but also pretty exciting. As a church member, I have a voice in this church. I have a stake in this church. I can help make sure we are seeking His will.

Last night we talked about things like the need to share our stories with each other, the need to look at how we are serving Christ in our own lives and share that with each other, the need to be a mirror, reflecting God’s love for His people, especially those who cannot see themselves as worthy in any way (and while none of us are worthy, He loves us deeply, graciously, mercifully anyway), the need to be Christ’s hands and feet for the last, the lost, and the least, which includes all of us.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for the family of believers You have gathered in Your name. Thank You for conversations and for questions and for dreams rooted in You. Thank You for allowing us to be Your hands and feet in this weary world. Help us to keep reaching, keep loving, keep helping others, reflecting Your love, pointing them to You. Draw us closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

I remember the opening line of a book I used to read to my boys when they were little—“I love myself. I’m glad I’m me. There’s no one else I’d rather be….” At its heart, it’s a book about self-esteem, about loving yourself just as you are, just as God created you. Sometimes it’s a fine line between healthy self-esteem and narcissism, but my gut says many more folks tend to ridicule themselves instead of loving and accepting themselves as they are.

You may wonder what difference it makes. A huge one, I’d wager, given that we are to love God with all that we are and all that we have, followed closely by loving our neighbors as we love ourselves. For many, it often seems easier to love our neighbor because our inner critic reserves its vilest vitriol for a target much closer to home.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for laying this topic on my heart this morning. It’s a delicate balance to strike, this idea of self-love, because we need to love ourselves in order to love others as ourselves, but we don’t need a world of self-involved egomaniacs. Help us to see ourselves through Your eyes, Lord, to love and accept ourselves so that we can fulfill Your call to love our neighbors as ourselves. And help us always, first and foremost, to love You and pursue You with all that we are and all that we have. Draw us closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

In the wee hours of the morning, when the house is still and the world is asleep, it is easy to choose to be overwhelmed by Jesus. And while I know that choosing to be overwhelmed by Him is my CHOICE (as opposed to something forced on me), as I’ve studied over the idea for the past 24 hours, I’ve realized that for me, it’s not my default. I am a strong Martha, getting sucked into and overwhelmed by the seemingly urgent chaos of life even before I’ve realized it.

And just like Martha, I’m so convinced that what I’m doing is important that instead of listening intently at His feet, I flitter around, fussing and fuming, when all I really need waits patiently for me to choose Him. Thankfully, I understand that what I become overwhelmed by IS my choice. But to be overwhelmed by Jesus instead of the by world is a choice I must make deliberately and often.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for impressing upon me that it is MY choice to be overwhelmed by You—Your grace, Your love Your presence—or by this world. Give me the strength and the grace to intentionally and willfully choose, always, to be overwhelmed by You and You alone. Help me to wrap myself in Your peace and love so that I can “Go placidly amid the noise and haste” of life, actively choosing You over the chaos of this world. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

I vividly remember the first time I heard the song “Overwhelmed” by Big Daddy Weave. I was driving, and when the title popped up on the display, I thought, “Overwhelmed. That is EXACTLY how I feel right now.” I expected to hear a song about someone who felt overwhelmed by life and who turned to the Creator for strength.

I remember sobbing when I realized the song was about being overwhelmed by God’s love, His goodness, His mercy. My tears were in part because I realized I had allowed myself to be overwhelmed by the wrong things. I allowed my circumstances and my shortcomings and the chaos of life to overwhelm me. I had taken my eyes off my Savior, and my troubles had surged forward, screaming for attention.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for the perspective that comes from You. Thank You for the reminder that You are greater than anything I will ever face and that if I’m going to allow myself to be overwhelmed by anything, it needs to be Your presence, Your mercy, Your love, Your grace, not anything of this world. Draw me closer, Lord. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

When our boys were younger, we took them several times to a local gem mine. For a fee, we bought huge buckets of dirt and spent an hour or so dumping the dirt into a screened box, running water over it, using a brush to knock off the dirt, hoping to find precious stones. Often the rocks that glittered were fairly worthless, and the ones that were true gems looked like worthless rocks. I often wished the worker who knew what to look for, knew how to tell the precious stones from the fools gold, would stand beside us the whole time to be sure we didn’t miss anything good. I could just see myself inadvertently dumping something valuable because it looked worthless.

Those gem mine excursions now seem an incredibly fitting analogy for life—It’s dirty and messy. It takes time and effort to sift through everything and figure out what’s sparkly yet worthless and what’s dirty yet precious. It’s best to consult the Expert when you are unsure. And a lot of what the world sees as valuable is just sparkly rocks, while many precious stones are missed because folks fail to see the true value within them.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for this reminder that You see our potential, You love us for what’s on the inside. Thank You for not being distracted or fooled by the layers of filth that sometimes accumulate on the outside. Help us to look past all the dirt in each other and see each other as the precious, dearly loved gems that we are to You. Draw us closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

Yesterday I included Luke 23:34: Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.” The soldiers are casting lots for His clothes WHILE His is praying and AS He is dying as a result of their actions. They are oblivious, but Jesus is not. He knows what they are doing. He knows they are acting in ignorance. He asks His Father to forgive them.

As I was typing Eph 4:32 this morning, it struck me that Jesus has prayed the same prayer for ME for all those times I acted out of ignorance—sometimes not realizing what I had done, sometimes knowing full well I was in the wrong, sometimes believing with all my heart I was acting in the right way. Jesus has said to His Father, my Father, “Father, forgive Beth, for she knows not what she is doing.” And my Father HAS forgiven me—in Christ, through Christ, and because of Christ.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for this insight, which feels so revolutionary. Thank You for Jesus and for His intercessions on my behalf. Thank You for forgiving me for all those times I have and will act out of my own ignorance. Now that I understand Eph 4:32 in a way that I never have before, help me to live Eph 4:32 in a way that I’ve never been able to before. Help me to be kind and compassionate to others, praying to my Father on their behalf, letting go of any anger and bitterness  caused by their ignorance, just like Jesus with the soldiers at His death. Help me to love as You love and to forgive as You forgive. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

God’s still got me thinking about bitterness and forgiveness. I keep going back to the fact that Christ forgave His murderers while He was dying. Jesus forgave as they were casting lots for His clothes and while He was dying. They didn’t ask for forgiveness, didn’t acknowledge any wrongdoing, and were STILL inflicting injury. And He forgave, or rather, He asked His Father to forgive them because they didn’t understand, couldn’t see, what they were doing, but He could.

So is the lesson, perhaps, that because He could see the transgression, that if He didn’t ask for forgiveness for them, He could be negatively affected by His feelings about their actions? Is that the human takeaway here? That because I feel I have been wronged or treated unfairly, because I perceive the infraction, that I need to ask the Father for forgiveness on their behalf for my own well-being, so that my anger and bitterness at the transgressor doesn’t get in the way of my relationship with my Savior? So that my attitude doesn’t begin to “stink and fester” because of my emotions? I’m going to have to give that idea serious thought

Lord, Thank You for this day and for continuing to work on my heart in the area of love and forgiveness. Thank You for the ideas that You have me pondering today, that perhaps forgiveness is in my best interest because it removes obstacles that keep me from loving and seeking You with my whole heart. Please continue making a way for me out of the wilderness of bitterness and anger. Draw me whole-heartedly closer to You. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

I’ve mentioned before that understanding is important to me. If you do something in a way I would not have done, I want to know why—not because I think you’re wrong, but because I am genuinely curious to know your thought process. Sometimes I think Jesus replies to me often, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.” As much as my inquisitive side wants to know, I have to wait, trust, and have faith In my Savior.

I’m pretty sure that by the time I can understand all the answers to the many, many questions I have about the way life works, they will no longer be important. For now, I fumble through, doing the best I can to trust in my sovereign, loving Savior, even when life makes no sense from this side.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for Your love and compassion. Thank You that even when I don’t have answers, I have Your grace and mercy. Help me always to step out in faith when You call me beyond my comfort zone. When I can’t see the bigger picture, help me to always trust the One who can. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

For years before I moved to a new classroom, I had affixed to the back of my door Charles Swindoll’s quote that “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” When I moved to my new room, I surrounded myself instead with reminders to “Choose joy!” The messages are slightly different, but their heart is the same—every second of every day we are given the opportunity to choose our attitude. And when I choose to glorify my Savior instead of wallowing in my misery, I have offered to Him a sacrifice of praise, choosing His joy over my circumstances.

How I wish I could say that I always choose joy. Unfortunately, I still struggle daily with making the choice to focus on His abundant blessings instead of my troubles. I think that propensity is a mark of my humanity, my desire for good things in and of this world. I know that the world’s ways are empty and fruitless, and I’m working on weeding out its influence. God knows my heart. In the meantime, I’ll continue to try to choose joy at every opportunity, one moment at a time.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for Your grace and mercy. Thank You for the gift of Your love and forgiveness. Thank You for knowing my heart, for understanding that even when I struggle to choose joy, I love You more than anything. Help me to root out the earthly part of myself. Help me to see my life through Your blessings. Help me always to offer You a sacrifice of praise. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.