Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
The end of verse 20 is quite intriguing. By being kind to my enemy, I heap burning coals on his head? Tell me more. Commentary wasn’t very forthcoming on this verse. It said that by making an enemy a friend, we destroy that enemy (quite literally because said enemy is now a friend). Commentary also talked about the custom of lending coals to a neighbor to help the neighbor start a fire. That, to me, doesn’t quite make sense in this context.
Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Neither explanation seems satisfactory to me. And while I think there could be a perverse pleasure in acting the opposite of what’s expected (Oh, you hate me? I’m going to be nice to you at every turn.), I think that if I am conscientiously trying to do kind things for my enemy, if I am praying earnestly for my enemy, that is going to eventually change my attitude toward that person. Though, again, that’s not easy, not fast, and not innate human tendency.
Romans 12:20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Precious Savior, This chapter contains some guidelines that can be incredibly difficult to put into practice. I don’t want to be kind to my enemy. I want revenge. I want my enemy to pay. But just typing that makes me feel bad, angry, mean. I don’t want that, either. Help me–no matter how difficult it is–to be kind to my enemy, to pray for my enemy, so that my heart can stay in communion with You. Amen.
Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Have a blessed day.