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John 13:1b …having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.
The idea that I am in the center of God’s kindness (see yesterday’s reflection) is still resonating with me, rattling around in my mind. And then today, my precious Savior brings me to this poignant scene of love and kindness. At this point, Jesus knew that not only would Judas betray Him but that all of His disciples would deny Him at the end. He KNEW it. 
John 13:2-3a During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot…to betray Him, Jesus, knowing….
Jesus could have washed His hands of the whole lot of them and simply walked away, but He knew the importance, the magnitude of what He was being called to do, so instead of washing His hands of this crowd of cowardly traitors, He loves them to the end and shows them His love by serving them through washing their feet—a dirty, lowly job. THAT’s the center of God’s kindness.
John 13:3b-4 …that the Father has given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper.
Lord, Thank You for this day and for Your compassionate act of service. The magnitude of Your love and kindness is truly difficult for me to grasp at times, Lord. I can be so quick to judge, so quick to turn my back on someone whom I feel has wronged or betrayed me. I feel like You are calling me instead to service that helps others, all others, see the center of Your kindness in their lives. Help me to understand what this call means, Lord. Use me in Your service. Draw me closer. Amen.
John 13:7 Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.”
Have a blessed day.

1 Cor 15:10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect…..
I was listening to a podcast yesterday and came across a statement that has given me great pause: “I am always in the center of God’s kindness.” When life is going well, I can so easily identify with and live this statement. When life is good, I can see His kindness everywhere.
1 Tim 1:16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His immense patience as an example for those who would believe in Him and receive eternal life.
But when times are tough, my immediate response is to pull back. My heartache is God’s kindness? My pain is God’s kindness? In no way. But I cling to the fact that even in difficult times, God is holding me in the palm of His hand. THAT’S His kindness. Even on my darkest days, He is drawing me closer to Him, remaking me more in His imagine. THAT’S His kindness. When I am at my weakest, His people step in to be His hands and feet in my life. THAT’S God’s kindness. Thank You, Jesus.
Isaiah 55:8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”
Lord, Thank You for this day and for putting the idea that we are always in the center of Your kindness in my path. Thank You for the clarity with which I cling to You and Your promises. Thank You for wanting all of me, for loving all of me. Thank You for Your incomprehensible love and kindness, which surpasses all understanding. Draw me closer to You. Amen.
1 Cor 13:12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
Have a blessed day.

Psalm 18:36 You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way.
Lord, Life can feel so hard sometimes. Thank You for caring about all things—both big and small—like my path and my ankles, the weight I carry on my back, my burdens. Thank You for knowing where I am, both mentally and physically, for sending me light and hope and grace as I travel on sometimes rocky and difficult paths. 
Proverbs 4:12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble.
Lord, Thank You that even in the midst of trials You are with me. Thank You for being steadfast and true, even when I question and doubt. Thank You for drawing me closer to You through all circumstances, especially through the dark and frightening ones. Thank You for the complete trust I have in Your love and care.
Psalm 66:9 Our lives are in His hands, and He keeps our feet from slipping.
Lord, Thank You for this day and for the many ways I see You working in my life. Thank You for taking the ashes, the pain, the ugliness of this life and transforming them into beauty through Your love and grace. Thank You for Your steadfast presence and for our ability to draw closer to You and to encourage each other on life’s path. Thank You, Lord. Amen.
Psalm 121:3 He will not let your foot slip—He who watches over you will not slumber.
Have a blessed day.

Psalm 37:7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him….
God still has me in a space of waiting. It is incredibly frustrating, primarily because I have no idea what I’m waiting FOR or how I’ll know when it happens. Perhaps that’s part of His point. Since my children were born, I have been in uber-planner mode. I try to be prepared for any contingency. I try to have everything we could possibly need. I try to smooth all the bumps in the road. I thought that was what it meant to be a good mom. It wasn’t until the last few years that I realized that I was trying to do things that weren’t mine to do, work through struggles that weren’t mine to work through, conquer mountains that weren’t mine to climb. Jesus, Help me.
2 Thess 3:5 May the LORD direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.
One of my devos this morning talked about the dangers of being activity-centered in our Christian life as opposed to being God-centered. I don’t know if that’s the lesson He needs me to learn here, but I do know that I have a propensity for doing. Waiting is hard. It feels unproductive and useless. I can’t plan for it, and I’m definitely feeling at loose ends. But if this waiting-space draws me closer to my precious Savior, if it puts me in His presence and His will, that’s definitely where I want to be. Jesus, Help me.
Psalm 62:5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.
Lord, Thank You for this day and for this space of waiting. As hard as it is for me to be in this space, I know without a doubt that You have brought me here, that You have a reason and a plan, that You can use this time and this space for my good and Your glory, no matter how uncomfortable it currently feels. Help me to be still in Your presence, Lord. Help me to hear, to understand, and to obey Your direction. Blanket me with Your peace during this time. Draw me closer. Amen.
Psalm 46:10 … “Be still, and know that I am God….”
Have a blessed day.

Matt 26:31 Jesus said to His disciples, “During this very night, all of you will reject Me….”
In the realm of “big deals,” this conversation seems pretty huge to me. Jesus hand-picked the 12 disciples. He spent time with them, taught them, counseled them, at times refereed them. I’m sure He heaved more than one sigh when they *still* struggled to grasp His point. But this betrayal is huge. Jesus knows He is headed to His death to fulfill the will of His Father. He also knows that every single disciple, whom He loves and has invested time in, will reject Him before the night is out. He knows, and He wants them to know.
Matt 26:32 “But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.”
Do you see the amazing grace lavished on His beloved disciples? I am awed and humbled by the love behind those words. They deserved a Holy dressing-down, “How dare you betray Me after the time and effort I put into you?!? You are dead to me!!!” But Jesus reacts with compassion. My paraphrase of this convo goes something like “You will reject me tonight. And that rejection will end up eating away at you. But don’t live in that mistake. Don’t get stuck there. Move beyond it, and meet Me in Galilee. I still have work for you to do. I’ll be waiting for you.” Thank You, Jesus.
Luke 22:32 “But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”
Lord, Thank You for this day and for Your fierce love and unfathomable grace. You know I’m going to mess up, Lord. Thank You for reminding me that You can still use me, even when I think I’ve strayed too far. Thank You for allowing me, even with all my struggles and failures, to encourage and strengthen my brothers and sisters on life’s journey. Thank You for forgiving me, for loving me, and for reminding me not to get stuck in my own failures. Thank You for being able to use me, Lord, and for reminding me to keep looking to You, no matter what. Draw me closer. Amen.
Romans 5:8 But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Have a blessed day.

1 Cor 10:13a No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man….
When I think of temptation, I often think of vices—the temptation to lie, steal, cheat, gamble. But with my current slog through the doldrums, I’m beginning to broaden my definition. I know what I’m struggling with is not unique. It is incredibly frustrating, and I want to stick my head in the sand and ignore…everything, but I know I have to resist that temptation. It is tempting for me to turn my frustration on God—“I have prayed, I have pleaded, You have not moved me. What gives?” But I mightily resist that temptation as well. Jesus, Help me.
1 Cor 10:13b …God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability….
I know God is faithful. I know He is with me. Because I am still in this space of struggle, I know He is still working on me, in me, through my circumstances. Jesus, Help me to turn toward You, and not away from You. I know that healing and renewal can only be found in You and not in this world. Help me to stay focused on You.
1 Cor 10:13c …but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Lord, Thank You for this day and for the wisdom to understand that You are with me, even in the struggle. Help me to lean into You, to cling to You, to draw closer to You. Help me to remember that You are making a way in this wilderness, even if I can’t yet perceive it. Sustain me. Renew me. Amen.
Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.
Have a blessed day.

Luke 12:22 … “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life….”
God is steadfast and faithful. Always. It should not surprise me that He always speaks to my heart, but somehow it does. I’m still in this weird mental space. My need for rest and renewal are palpable. I am quite cognizant of what I need, but I cannot seem to disengage from the relentless need to actively do. Part of that is due to the nature of my job and this time of year—we are winding down, which carries very specific obligations. Part of it is because somehow, mentally, my worth seems tied up in actively doing, not in resting and seeking Him. Jesus, Help me.
Luke 12:25 “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?”
My Savior MUST be my most important thing. Today’s message was all about seeking Him first and not worrying about all the little things, the thousands of little questions and concerns that worriers like me are keenly aware of. When I seek Him first, He will be sure I have what I need. Always. Thank You, Jesus. Give me the strength, the mental and physical space, to do what You are calling me to do—to rest and renew, to put You first. Always. 
Luke 12:31 “But seek His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.”
Lord, Thank You for this day and for this message. Thank You for Your relentless pursuit of me, for seeing where I am, what I need. Help me to reprioritize, Lord, to put You first, always, and to know that when I seek You first, everything else will fall into place. Draw me closer, Lord. Amen.
Luke 12:34 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Have a blessed day. 

Isaiah 42:16a I will lead the blind by ways they have not known….
Lord, Thank You for being steadfast and true, for seeing us, for knowing our hearts, for understanding our fears and concerns. Thank You for leading us, walking with us, carrying us on unfamiliar, frightening paths. Thank You that during these trying times, we can grow closer to You than is possible when life is smooth sailing.
Isaiah 42:16b …along unfamiliar paths I will guide them….
Lord, Unfamiliar paths can be terrifically frightening. Thank You for the surety that we do not have to forge these paths alone. Thank You for giving us light and hope through small blessings and kindnesses that remind us of Your deep love. Thank You for walking with us, for holding us, for not abandoning us in our time of need. Help us to always be mindful of Your faithful presence.
Isaiah 42:16c …I will turn darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth….
Lord, Thank You for this day and for Your fierce love and assurance that we are not alone, even in trials, especially then. Help us to feel Your peace and comfort. Help us to encourage each other. Guide our way, one step at a time. Draw us closer. Amen.
Isaiah 42:16d …These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
Have a blessed day.

Isaiah 40:31a But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength….
My precious Savior is loving and faithful and steadfast. I know this truth. I write it often in these reflections. And yet, when He shows up so clearly in my circumstances, it always catches me off guard somehow. Lord, Forgive me for being caught off guard, and thank You for Your faithfulness.
Isaiah 40:31b …They shall mount up with wings like eagles….
Yesterday, at the end of a successful yet very long and stressful week, I was tapped out in a way I haven’t felt in a while. I was running on fumes with no gas station in sight. And He showed up so powerfully during a class discussion that it was as if He were right beside me, whispering to my heart, “I know you are exhausted. I know you feel like no one cares, but THIS is why I need you here.” The love, compassion, and vulnerability in that room yesterday, the encouragement and support I witnessed, may be the highlight of my 23 years in the classroom thus far. Thank You, Jesus.
Isaiah 40:31c …They shall run and not grow weary….
Lord, Thank You for this day, for the reminder that I MUST take time to renew myself, to root myself firmly in You, so that I have the energy to love and encourage Your people. Thank You for the courage and vulnerability I witnessed first hand yesterday, for the love and support that was so evident during our discussion. Thank You for helping me see with such clarity both why it is important for me to keep on keeping on each day and why it is so crucial I refuel my tank so I can keep at it. Draw me closer, Lord. Restore my strength in You and through You. Help me to shine Your light. Amen.
Isaiah 40:31d …They shall walk and not faint.
Have a blessed day.

Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God….”
Self-care is really hard for me. While I understand the importance of taking time to rest and renew, I have a hard time putting it into practice personally. It feels incredibly indulgent and selfish. The irony is that I would argue mightily for the importance of self-care, the need for self-care, the significance of self-care to anyone, especially those who spend great chunks of their day caring for others—teachers, nurses, parents, those in ministry, etc. I just seem to have a really hard time actually putting it into practice for myself. Jesus, Help me.
Psalm 37:7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him….”
Compassion fatigue is real. When you give (and give and give and give) so much of yourself in the care of others and don’t take time to renew yourself, to reconnect with your power source, you are going to run out of reserves—mental, physical, and emotional energy to keep caring for others. I feel that is where I am, yet I balk at the idea of putting my needs first, of taking time for myself. Jesus, Help me.
Psalm 62:5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him.
Lord, Thank You for this day and for the mental clarity to see exactly where I am right now. I’m exhausted—mentally, physically, emotionally. It feels selfish and indulgent to look after myself when there is so much need all around me, Lord, but I absolutely feel You calling me to be still in Your presence. Help me to be still, Lord, to sit at Your feet, to soak in Your peace and Your presence. Restore my soul, Lord, so that I can help care for and encourage Your people. Draw me closer. Amen.
Mark 4:39 And He awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
Have a blessed day.