What’s possible…. (devo reflection)

Genesis 33:1 Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two female servants. 

After Jacob wrestles with God, there is evidence of growth–he does go from the back of the group to the front to meet Esau, though he still shows favor to Rachel and her son by placing them in the rear of the wives and children, which offer a bit of protection if Esau has murderous tendencies.

Genesis 33:2 He put the female servants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. 

But Esau not only meets Jacob, he runs to meet him, not only welcomes Jacob, embraces him, throws his arms around his neck and kisses him. The problems of the past are just that–past. For the first time maybe ever, these two are meeting as brothers, as friends.

Genesis 33:3 He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.

Precious Savior, Thank You for the example of love and forgiveness we see in today’s scripture. I’m not sure I completely understand it, but I don’t have to. You understand it and have shown me what’s possible with Your love. Thank You. Amen.

Genesis 33:4 But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.

Have a blessed day.

Perfection is not the goal…. (devo reflection)

Genesis 32:27 The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered.

Commentary says “From this point on, this son of Isaac will be called Jacob twice as often as he is called Israel.” To me this means that while Jacob wrestled with God and won, thus earning the name Israel (which, I’ll be honest, is still something I struggle with in this text), there’s still a lot of the old, the Jacob, left in him.

Genesis 32:28-29 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.” But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

That hefty dose of Jacob that is apparently still in him, though, gives me hope. I know that no matter how hard I try, I am still human and fallible. I still fail daily. I want to be good, to shine His light, and there are glimmers of success, but there is still so much of the human in me that it’s never perfect.

Genesis 32:30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

Precious Savior, The one message I am getting loud and clear from Genesis during this reading is that I do not have to be perfect for You to use me. You can and will and do use the human, the fallible, the messy, in Your kingdom work. That gives me such hope. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 32:31-32 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon.

Have a blessed day.

Be with us in our struggle…. (devo reflection)

Genesis 32:22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok.  

I could probably spend weeks on this section, reading, studying, pondering. There is so much I don’t understand here. But we are barely halfway through Genesis, so I want to focus on the piece of today’s scripture that I do understand–Jacob needed to be alone, away from all the noise and distraction, before he could deal with the internal baggage he carried.

Genesis 32:23-24 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.

It is easy to ignore things when you are busy. Issues, nudges, problems–push them all aside and focus on the task at hand that must be completed. But when we are alone, when all the other things are out of our way, then we are left with ourselves and Jesus. It can be a really uncomfortable place. But it is the only way to truly die to self and allow Jesus to lead.

Genesis 32:25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 

Precious Savior, All of us have or will experience a dark night of the soul where we wrestle with You over our wants and desires. It is not until we die to self, let go of the things that we are holding on to so tightly, that we can allow you to fully work through our lives. That struggle is so painful, but You are sovereign, loving, compassionate, merciful. Thank You that You love us too much to leave us to ourselves. Be with us in our struggle. Amen.

Genesis 32:26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

Have a blessed day.

The daily little things…. (devo reflection)

Genesis 32:17-18 He instructed the one in the lead: “When my brother Esau meets you and asks, ‘Who do you belong to, and where are you going, and who owns all these animals in front of you?’ then you are to say, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob. They are a gift sent to my lord Esau, and he is coming behind us.’ ”

If I’m honest, these verses support what commentary was saying yesterday. I thought maybe Jacob was just trying to make reparations for his trickery all those years ago, but today’s verses have the feeling of a straight-up bribe. 

Genesis 32:19 He also instructed the second, the third and all the others who followed the herds: “You are to say the same thing to Esau when you meet him. 

I want to say that yesterday I was giving Jacob the benefit of the doubt, willing to believe that Jacob felt he owed his brother something for tricking him out of his birthright blessing. Today has the distinct feeling of “If I shower him with enough wealth, he’ll be so dazzled that he won’t be angry anymore.” That is definitely not trusting God.

Genesis 32:20 And be sure to say, ‘Your servant Jacob is coming behind us.’ ” For he thought, “I will pacify him with these gifts I am sending on ahead; later, when I see him, perhaps he will receive me.” 

Precious Savior, You know trust is hard for me. You know I have a long, sordid history of turning things over to You only to take them right back up again and try to proceed on my own. I love You. I do trust You. I know that You will never leave me nor forsake me and that because I am Yours, in the end, all will be well. Help me to trust You in the daily little things that I have the bad habit of trying to take care of on my own. Help me, Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 32:21 So Jacob’s gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in the camp.

Have a blessed day. 

Different perspectives…. (devo reflection)

Genesis 32:13 He spent the night there, and from what he had with him he selected a gift for his brother Esau:  

Commentary says that because Jacob puts the animals, the clear gift/bribe for his brother, in front, that shows that Jacob still doesn’t trust God because if he trusted God, he’d be at the front of the pack. To me, though, it seems more like, “God helps those who help themselves.”

Genesis 32:14 two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, 

What I mean is this: Jacob knows that he was terrible to Esau, tricked him more than once. He has prayed to God, fervently, earnestly. Now he is using his available resources (the livestock) to offer reparation to his brother for all that he took so many years ago.

Genesis 32:15 thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys.

Precious Savior, Perspective is such an interesting thing. Thank You that I see so many different perspectives each morning when I read Your word. Commentary thinks Jacob isn’t trusting because he sends livestock first. I think, maybe, he is trying to make amends for his behavior before and that’s why he does it, so his brother knows he’s changed. Regardless, help me to draw closer to You as I read, study, and ponder Your word. Amen.

Genesis 32:16 He put them in the care of his servants, each herd by itself, and said to his servants, “Go ahead of me, and keep some space between the herds.”

Have a blessed day.

Strong prayer…. (devo reflection)

Genesis 32:9 Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, Lord, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’  

Sometimes I wonder why I read the commentary I do each morning because I disagree with so many of the things this commentary says. Commentary indicates that what makes Jacob’s prayer so strong, among other things, is the fact that Jacob quotes God’s words, God’s promises back to Him. It seems to indicate that if you just pray enough of the Bible’s wording, you’ll get your way.

Genesis 32:10 I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps. 

That, to me, feels very legalistic. If I just pray enough of God’s words, if I just pray hard enough, long enough, if I just have enough people praying for me…, then I will get my way. That’s not how God works. He’s not in heaven making tally marks on a wall. “What a shame. If you had only had two more people praying for you, I would have given you what you wanted.” That’s not my God.

Genesis 32:11 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children.

Precious Savior, Thank You that You know our hearts, that You aren’t legalistic, that You don’t have an arbitrary number or word in mind that if we only hit it, You’ll give us what we want. Thank You that You love us fiercely, that You know our hearts intimately, that You will never leave us nor forsake us–Never!–no matter what we face or how we react. Thank You. Amen.

Genesis 32:12 But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’”

Have a blessed day.

Perfection is not the goal…. (devo reflection)

Genesis 32:5 I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, male and female servants. Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes.’ ”

Commentary seems to chastise Jacob because he is afraid Esau will retaliate. Commentary posits that Jacob should have been strong in his faith, knowing that God would provide. Commentary also holds up Abraham’s faith as the exemplar.

Genesis 32:6 When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.”

But didn’t Abraham have a child with Hagar because he didn’t trust God’s provision? And isn’t it normal to fear when you hear your brother, whom you wronged grievously, is coming to meet you with 400 men in tow? Jacob’s faith in God’s protection can be seen in the fact that he stays, he stands, he doesn’t run despite his fear, can’t it?

Genesis 32:7 In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well. 

Precious Savior, I get frustrated when Bible commentary seems to hold up perfection as the goal–we shouldn’t doubt, we shouldn’t fear, we shouldn’t take matters into our own hands. The reality of what I have seen time and again in Your word is that You use us–human, messy, fallible, broken, distraught, hesitant, headstrong–You can and will and do use us all IF we allow, and You love us, faults and all, deeply, fiercely. Thank You. Amen.

Genesis 32:8 He thought, “If Esau comes and attacks one group, the group that is left may escape.”

Have a blessed day.

Examining complicated feelings…. (devo reflection)

Genesis 32:1 Jacob also went on his way, and the angels of God met him. 

It would appear that Jacob has changed. Sadly, it pains me to say that. He tricked his father and his brother. He tricked Laban. He is a trickster. Period. The idea that he can change, that he has changed, rankles me a bit, which is disconcerting. 

Genesis 32:2 When Jacob saw them, he said, “This is the camp of God!” So he named that place Mahanaim.

Perhaps my attitude stems from my trust issues. What if I embrace that Jacob has changed and then he tricks again? Then he has fooled me, I look like a fool. Not cool. Perhaps my attitude stems from my judgmental side, which is much more developed than I like to admit. Perhaps my attitude stems from the fear that I, who mess up daily, will one day mess up so much that God won’t welcome me with open arms. I have no idea.

Genesis 32:3 Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 

Precious Savior, Thank You for allowing me to admit my dubiousness at Jacob’s change and for allowing me to examine the complicated feelings that I have over his behavior and potential transformation. Thank You most of all for Your fierce, unconditional love of all of us, no matter what. Help me, Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 32:4 He instructed them: “This is what you are to say to my lord Esau: ‘Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now.

Have a blessed day. 

My portion and inheritance…. (devo reflection)

Genesis 31:51 Laban also said to Jacob, “Here is this heap, and here is this pillar I have set up between you and me. 

Commentary says of this section, “Rachel and Leah were wrong to look to their father Laban for their portion or inheritance once they were married to Jacob. He now was their portion and inheritance.” The pronoun he comes right after the proper noun Jacob, indicating that Jacob is the antecedent for the pronoun he, which seems to indicate that commentary is saying that Jacob is their portion and inheritance. 

Genesis 31:52 This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not go past this heap to your side to harm you and that you will not go past this heap and pillar to my side to harm me. 

While Jacob may be the source of their earthly portion, I strongly feel that it is God who is their portion and inheritance, perhaps more so then when women had so few rights, so little autonomy. But even today, God is our portion and inheritance, or He should be. He will provide. Shining His light is how we make meaning in our lives. 

Genesis 31:53 May the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us.” So Jacob took an oath in the name of the Fear of his father Isaac. 

Precious Savior, I do not want to whine or harp or vent. I do not want to grouch about where my portion and inheritance come from. I am so thankful for this family and this life, they add so much meaning to my existence. But they are some of Your many blessings on me in this life. My ultimate portion and inheritance is You. Thank You. Help me to shine Your light always. Amen.

Genesis 31:54-55 He offered a sacrifice there in the hill country and invited his relatives to a meal. After they had eaten, they spent the night there. Early the next morning Laban kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them. Then he left and returned home.

Have a blessed day. 

Quoting scripture wisely, appropriately, and well…. (devo reflection)

Genesis 31:47 Laban called it Jegar Sahadutha, and Jacob called it Galeed.

My memory is notoriously awful, but I’m fairly certain I remember using Gen 31:49, more than once, as a positive scripture for someone who would not be physically close to me (going on a trip, moving, going to college, etc). However, as I read it in context of Laban and Jacob’s ongoing mess, I see that it seems to be used more as a threat than a blessing.

Genesis 31:48 Laban said, “This heap is a witness between you and me today.” That is why it was called Galeed.

Essentially, Laban seems to be saying, “God’s watching you. If you cheat me, He’ll know, and I’ll get you..” That’s ironic on a number of levels given all that we’ve seen of both Laban and Jacob. But my question is this: does the original use of the verse in context negate my ability to use it as a blessing out of context?

Genesis 31:49 It was also called Mizpah, because he said, “May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other. 

Precious Savior, Hebrews 4:12 assures us that Your word is active and alive. Does that mean that I can use Gen 31:49 as a blessing for those who will be away, even though the original context does not seem to be a positive one? I think so. I take Romans 8:28 to heart: “… in all things God works for the good of those who love him,” but I don’t want to play fast and loose with Your word, Lord. Help me to quote scripture wisely, appropriately, and well. Amen.

Genesis 31:50 If you mistreat my daughters or if you take any wives besides my daughters, even though no one is with us, remember that God is a witness between you and me.”

Have a blessed day.