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I will always have hope…. (devo reflection)

Job 7:6 “My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle, and they come to an end without hope.”

The last line of commentary on this chapter I find profound: “We like to talk about ‘having the faith to be healed,’ but what about having the faith to be sick?” Up until now, Job’s faith has been tied to good things. He prays, even for his children and their potential transgressions, he is upright and blameless; therefore, his life is good. Now, however, through no actions of his own, life is no longer good. Can he still trust God, even when he doesn’t understand why he is suffering so?

Job 7:11 “Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.”

So many things come to mind here. One is a teenager when he feels he has been treated unfairly. Anger and frustration can easily dip into disrespect. Steven Curtis Chapman’s song “God is God” also comes to mind. We will never, on this side of the veil, fully understand God’s ways. And Psalm 71:14 comes to mind: “As for me, I will always have hope….” When we are troubled, when healing doesn’t come, when the blows just keep reigning down, we have to decide if we can trust God to be good and loving even when life is painful. 

Job 7:16 “I despise my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone; my days have no meaning.”

Lord, Thank You for this day and this scripture. You don’t force us to love You, to trust You, but You invite us to do so, especially when times are hard. I don’t enjoy the painful times in this life, Lord, but I am so thankful that You draw me closer to You in the dark times than would ever be possible in the light. Help me to live, fully and daily, Psalm 71:14: “As for me, I will always have hope….” Draw me closer to You. Amen.

Job 7:17-18 “What is mankind that you make so much of them, that you give them so much attention, that you examine them every morning and test them every moment?”

Have a blessed day.

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Wrestling with God…. (devo reflection)

Job 6:21 “Now you too have proved to be of no help; you see something dreadful and are afraid.”

Commentary on this chapter made me chuckle a bit. In chapter 5, it said: “Eliphaz preaches a God who can be figured out.” However, commentary on chapter 6 feels like it is explaining Job 6 in light of a God who can be figured out. I find it quite ironic. Eliphaz charges that this is happening to Job because of some unacknowledged, unrepented sin within him. Job maintains that is not the case.

Job 6:28 “But now be so kind as to look at me. Would I lie to your face?”

I find myself, as I struggle with this book, with Job’s loss and suffering for no discernible reason, thinking back to Genesis 32 where Jacob wrestles with God. Coming to terms with unimaginable loss and suffering for no identifiable reason involves, at least for me, wrestling with what I know to be true of my Savior. Sometimes there is no understanding of the pain and loss, there is simply the knowledge that God loves me deeply, He loves those I love, His ways are far beyond anything I can imagine, and I can trust Him, His goodness, and His sovereignty, even when I don’t understand.

Job 6:29 “Relent, do not be unjust; reconsider, for my integrity is at stake.”

Lord, Thank You for this day and this scripture. Thank You for the ability to draw closer to You as I read Your word. For someone who likes to understand the why of life, it is difficult and frustrating to not understand, but I know You love me fiercely, and I choose to trust You, even when I don’t understand. Draw me closer. Amen.

Job 6:30 “Is there any wickedness on my lips? Can my mouth not discern malice?”

Have a blessed day.

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God is God…. (devo reflection)

Job 5:3 “I myself have seen a fool taking root, but suddenly his house was cursed.”

Eliphaz’s observations and advice come from deep personal conviction that he understands the ways of God and, therefore, understands why Job is being afflicted as he is. But he’s wrong. His well-meaning advice wounds Job further. According to commentary, “Eliphaz preaches a God who can be figured out.” As much as I love understanding the why of a situation, I know that that is not how God operates. He’s not concerned with being sure we understand the why. His objective is so much bigger.

Job 5:6 “For hardship does not spring from the soil, nor trouble sprout from the ground.”

I have been pondering putting the following on my board at school: We don’t know what we don’t know. Embrace an attitude of “What if…” What if I’m wrong? What if I don’t have all the information? What if there is another side to the story of which I’m unaware? What if this situation isn’t what I think it is? This idea, to me, is at heart of the lesson in this chapter: God is God. His ways are not our ways. I may never understand the why, but that’s ok because I know that God loves me deeply. I can trust Him, even when I don’t understand.

Job 5:8 “But if I were you, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before Him.”

Lord, Thank You for this day and this scripture. Thank You for the reminder that I can trust You even when I don’t understand. And even though Your ways are beyond my comprehension, help me as I study Your word to know You just a little bit better each day. Draw me closer. Amen.

Job 5:27 “We have examined this, and it is true. So hear it and apply it to yourself.”

Have a blessed day

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You are near…. (devo reflection)

Job 4:6 “Should not your piety be your confidence and your blameless ways your hope?”

Again, as I struggle to make sense of Job, I do so by relating it to what I understand, which is not an entirely accurate way to approach Job, I am learning through additional study. However, Eliphaz, I sincerely believe, is trying to bring Job a measure of comfort. In doing so, he basically tells Job that surely he is being punished by God for some sin. Ouch.

Job 4:7 “Consider now: Who, being innocent, has ever perished? Where were the upright ever destroyed?”

But how many times have I, too, put my foot squarely in my mouth when trying to help or bring comfort? I am learning, instead, the beauty of presence. Just like no one could mitigate my grief with their words, I can’t either. And sometimes my words bring unintended pain. So I try to love through my presence. Like the friends did in the last chapter, I try to simply be there, so they know they are not alone.

Job 4:8 “As I have observed, those who plow evil and who sow trouble reap it.”

Lord, Thank You for this day and this scripture. Thank You for the ability to come back to Your word again and again, to look and read and understand with new eyes. Help me, Lord, to comfort those who are grieving. Help me shine Your light in their darkness, reminding them that You are near and they are not alone. Draw me closer. Amen.

Job 4:9 “At the breath of God they perish; at the blast of His anger they are no more.”

Have a blessed day.

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Leaning into God’s truth…. (devo reflection)

Job 3:23 Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in?

Growing up in church, I was under the impression that we were not to question God. My adolescent brain interpreted that to mean that I was not to whine or complain to God about the trials in my life, which left me feeling like I had to put on a facade with God, a front the everything was a-ok, even if it felt like all was falling apart. As an adult facing the realities of life, which sometimes seem incredibly unfair and grossly troubling, I decided that I needed to be honest with God. Always. 

Job 3:24 For sighing has become my daily food; my groans pour out like water.

Repeatedly in the commentary for this chapter, Job’s words are called a poetic “outpouring of an honest, agonizing soul.” Truthfully, I don’t think God wants a sanitized relationship with His beloved children. He wants us to be able to come to Him, to share our troubles and agonies. He gave me these deep emotions. He’s certainly big enough to handle them. And by being honest with Him, I can begin to work through my transient feelings so that I can lean into His eternal truth.

Job 3:25 What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. 

Lord, Thank You for this day and this scripture. Thank You for making me such an emotional being—it is only because I can know the heights of joy that I also am capable of feeling the depths of despair. Help me remember that my feelings are transitory, but that You are eternal, steadfast, and true. Help me to be open and honest with You always, so that I can move past my feelings and into Your truth. Draw me closer. Amen.

Job 3:26 I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.

Have a blessed day.

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A beautiful, powerful act in the midst of shattering grief… (devo reflection)

Job 2:11 When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamanite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.

Job’s friends show up for him in a time of incredible loss and pain. It reminds me of the moment I learned my mother died very unexpectedly. I was at school and called my husband immediately, who was at the same school in his own classroom. I also called a dear friend, in her classroom, because saying it aloud helped me wrap my mind around the loss. 

Job 2:12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.

I will forever be grateful I made that call. While my wheels were spinning trying to process the loss, she galvanized the forces. Almost instantly, I was surrounded by five dear friends and fellow teachers. I remember us standing in a circle holding hands, and them praying for me as I sobbed. It was such a beautiful, powerful act in the midst of my shattering grief. None of them could make it better, but their presence and prayers were invaluable in that moment.

Job 2:13a Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights….

Lord, Thank You for this day and this scripture. Thank You for the presence of friends when our burdens are too heavy to shoulder alone. There is so much about the book of Job that I don’t understand, Lord. Walk with me through this study. Draw me closer to You. Amen.

Job 2:13b …No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

Have a blessed day.

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The book of Job…. (devo. reflection)

Job 1:20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship…

I’m not going to lie—I don’t like the thought of reading the book of Job. It is a difficult book because of all the suffering that Job endures, all the heartbreak, all the questioning of what he thought he understood about God.

Job 1:21a …and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away….”

This book also takes me back to a very difficult time in my own life, where I felt like everything was falling apart around me, where I faced heartache after heartache, challenge after challenge. But in the words of my pastor, “The worst thing is never the last thing,” so I’m ready to see what God has to show me, to help me understand, on this journey.

Job 1:21b … “may the name of the LORD be praised.”

Lord, Thank You for this day and this scripture. Thank You for the understanding that it is through difficulty and trial, questioning and seeking, that we come to know You better, to trust You more fully. Be with me as I walk through the book of Job. Reveal Your loving kindness to me in a way I have not understood before. Draw me closer. Amen.

Job 1:22 In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

Have a blessed day.

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Open and watchful… (devo reflection)

Esther 10:1 King Xerxes imposed tribute throughout the empire, to its distant shores.

Lord, Thank You for leading me through the book of Esther, for showing me Your powerful presence, even though Your name is not mentioned. Thank You for the faith of Mordecai and the boldness of Esther, for the understanding that each moment, each day, each season, You have things for me to do to further Your kingdom, for the reminder that I need to be open to and watchful for those opportunities.

Esther 10:2 And all his acts of power and might, together with a full account of the greatness of Mordecai, whom the king had promoted, are they not written in the book of the annals of the kings of Media and Persia?

Lord, Thank You for showing me the dangers of being easily swayed, like King Xerxes, who went along with most anything suggested. Thank You for showing me the dangers of bitterness and wounded pride and all the damage they can do and for the reminder that You can bring beauty from ashes, joy from mourning, praise from despair.

Esther 10:3a Mordecai the Jew was second in rank to King Xerxes, preeminent among the Jews….

Lord, Thank You for this day and this scripture, for Your quiet, faithful presence, for the ability to positively contribute to Your kingdom work. Thank You for never leaving us nor forsaking us, and for making a way, even if we can’t yet perceive it. Draw us closer. Amen.

Esther 10:3b …and held in high esteem by his fellow Jews, because he worked for the good of his people and spoke up for the welfare of all the Jews.

Have a blessed day.

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Extraordinary grace and undeserved mercy…. (devo reflection)

Esther 9:1 …On this day the enemies of the Jews had hoped to overpower them, but now the tables were turned and the Jews got the upper hand on those who hated them.

Isaiah 61:3 came to mind as I read this chapter, especially Esther 9:22. Isaiah 61:3 promises “…a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” Haman’s massacre of the Jews was an edict from the king. Yet, because of the faithfulness of Esther and Mordecai, the Jews were granted not only redemption but retribution.

Esther 9:5 The Jews struck down all their enemies with the sword, killing and destroying them, and they did what they pleased to those who hated them.

As I typed the above, Romans 8:37 came to mind. “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Perhaps that is the ultimate lesson of this chapter: no matter how devastating and irrevocable the proclamation against us, if we are faithful to “Him who loved us,” God can not only redeem us but can give us overwhelming victory. Thank You, Jesus.

Esther 9:13 “If it pleases the king,” Esther answered, “give the Jews in Susa permission to carry out this day’s edict tomorrow also, and let Haman’s ten sons be impaled on poles.”

Lord, Thank You for this day and this scripture. Thank You for this reminder that no matter our sin, no matter the heartache we face, You can and will redeem us if we come to You with a humble and repentant heart. Thank You for the assurance that no matter the opposition facing us, overwhelming victory is ours through You. Thank You for Your extraordinary grace and undeserved mercy. Draw us closer. Amen.

Esther 9:20-22 Mordecai recorded these events, and he sent letters to all the Jews throughout the provinces of King Xerxes…to have them celebrate annually [these two days] as the time when the Jews got relief from their enemies, and as the month when their sorrow was turned into joy and their mourning into a day of celebration….

Have a blessed day.

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God is at work…. (devo reflection)

Esther 8:15 When Mordecai left the king’s presence, he was wearing royal garments of blue and white, a large crown of gold and a purple robe of fine linen. And the city of Susa held a joyous celebration.

Isaiah 43:19 is a verse I cling to, especially in difficult times when I see no solution to the problems at hand: “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness….” The idea that God is at work, that He is making a way in my wilderness, even though I can’t yet perceive it, brings me incredible comfort and peace.

Esther 8:16 For the Jews it was a time of happiness and joy, gladness and honor.

This chapter, to me, seems an embodiment of Isaiah 43:19. Haman was bent on destroying Mordecai. He ended up causing his own death instead. Haman’s decree against the Jews, endorsed by the king, cannot be undone. But God made a legal way for the Jews to protect themselves and fight back.

Esther 8:17a In every province and in every city to which the edict of the king came, there was joy and gladness among the Jews, with feasting and celebrating….

Lord, Thank You for this day and this scripture. Thank You for the reminder that You are with us, even when we can’t feel Your presence, that You are making a way in the wilderness, even when we can’t yet perceive it. Help us to trust You for the next breath, the next step, knowing that You will never leave us nor forsake us. Thank You for Your fierce love and unending mercy. Amen.

Esther 8:17b …And many people of other nationalities became Jews because fear of the Jews had seized them.

Have a blessed day.