Month: November 2018

I am a strong realist with the heart of an idealist. I see the possibilities, but I am constrained by the limitations of what I can conceive as doable. This morning has me wondering if I am inadvertently limiting how God is able to use me to further His Kingdom. Does my inability to fathom how He might use me keep me from acting on ways that He might be calling me? Jesus, Help me!

I am the first to admit that I love the comfort of routine. It is difficult for me to be excited about starting something if I can’t conceive of how it might end, how it should end. But this morning, I feel God calling me to examine these tendencies to see if they are in line with His calling for my life.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for calling me to examine myself and my actions in light of Your callings. I don’t want my short-sightedness to limit Your ability to work in my life. If You are calling me outside of my comfort zone, help me to see it, understand it, and answer wholeheartedly, “Here I am, Lord. Send me.” I know that nothing is too difficult for You, not even my own perceived limitations. Give me strength and courage to understand and trust Your call, even when I can’t perceive the way, and draw me closer to You. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

Powerless, weary, heavy burdened. So many carry so much weight on their shoulders daily. That’s not what God wants for us, though. The God of all creation loved us so much that even though we can do nothing but love Him, He sent His Son for us. The Prince of Peace loved us so much that He laid down His life for us. We were not ransomed just so we could trudge around daily, carrying the weight of our worries on our backs. Jesus, Help us.

It feels like it ought to be easier to hand over our concerns, to lay them at His feet and wrap ourselves in His peace. Perhaps, just like choosing joy is an intentional act, perhaps choosing to lay down the burdens I’m carrying, to hand them over to Him, takes just as much intentionality. Perhaps I have to willfully choose to drop these burdens and defiantly choose His joy and His peace over the chaos of this world. Jesus, Help me.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for daily meeting me here. Thank You for always finding me when I earnestly seek You. Lord, This world wants me to feel weak, weary, and powerless. This world wants me worn down by burdens You never intended for me to shoulder. Pry my fingers loose, Lord. Help me lay all of it at Your feet. Wrap me in Your peace and joy. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

Even as I typed this verse yesterday, I knew I would come back to it today. The truth of it resonates deeply. As a mother and a teacher, I know when someone is just going through the motions, when their acquiescence and obedience are superficial and not heartfelt. Not only does God know the same in my obedience to Him, He also knows when I profess to have turned my cares over to Him but my heart is secretly clinging to worries, fears, or desires I can’t let go. Those things, which I stubbornly and at times unintentionally cling to, present a barrier to my communion with God.

Just as I know when my children are struggling with something that they are holding close, God knows my heart. As much as it hurts my heart to watch these children I love struggle, to want to help and not be able to because they won’t open up, I wonder if God feels the same as He watches me struggle with those things that I hold in the quiet of my own heart, those things I don’t want to share with anyone, though He knows because He knows me completely.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for guiding me along this path today. I want more than anything to know You intimately, to hold nothing back from You. You love me and those I love more than I am even capable of loving, Lord. Help me to seek You, every moment of every day, with my whole heart and a willing mind. Help me to hold nothing back from You. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

In so many ways, we are so very different from those to whom Isaiah 29:13 and Micah 6:8 were addressed, but in so many ways, we are so very similar. In my own life, sometimes I’m guilty of asking, in essence, what’s the least I can do and still have God understand how much I love Him? His answer has not changed—He wants all of me, my whole heart.

He wants me to act justly—to look beyond the outer circumstances and be just according to the heart. He wants me to be merciful. Christ’s act of mercy on the cross, praying for His murderers as He was dying and they were casting lots, springs to mind here. He wants us to walk humbly, to know that on our own we are incomplete, but with Him, through Him, in Him we are whole.

Lord, Thank You for this day and this verse. The more I study Your word, the more I see that repeatedly, in so many different ways, You tell us the same thing—Love God. Love others. To act justly, to love mercy, to walk humbly—we have to have a heart of love for You and Your people. Love God. Love others. So simple in theory, but sometimes so difficult in practice. Help me, as I go through this day, to do Your will by loving You and loving others. Help me to serve You with my whole heart. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

Many people in my life are very adept at dealing with life as it is. I tend toward nostalgia, often thinking of what was but can never be again on this earth. This is especially true when it comes to those I love who have gone before me, but as my boys grow out of the childhood stage into the oft turbulent preteen and teen years, I find myself missing the cuddles and the giggles of the past.

Lord, I know You did not create me to look back at what was and sigh. I don’t want to miss the present moment because I am so busy thinking of the past. I know that my contentment and my purpose can be found in You. Wishing, sighing, and sadness cannot help build Your kingdom and will cause me to miss the subtle beauty of what is. Jesus, help me.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for helping me to see the importance of staying in the present moment. I know that every good and perfect gift is from You, that those whom I love and have lost are safe in Your care, that the growing process, no matter how painful, is crucial for my boys, and that just because our relationship is changing doesn’t mean it’s over. Help me to focus on You, to be content in You. Help me to grow in Your grace, to be filled with Your spirit, and to shine Your light. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

The older I get, the more inclined I am to avoid conflict—not in the “feel free to run all over me while I just smile and nod” way, but in a “life is so short and so precious and I don’t want to waste it arguing” way. But always I feel this tension of balancing God’s command to love one another with my own needs, emotions, and expectations. How can I love and still hold high expectations? How can I love and still guide and correct? How can I love and deal with the needs, emotions, and expectations of others?

These days, I often find myself thinking about Thornton Wilder’s play “Our Town,” a poignant  coming-of-age story that takes a young couple through the many stages of life. Emily, one of the main characters, says at one point, “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? —every, every minute?” The short answer, of course, is no. But I am definitely at a place where I feel life’s brevity. Sometimes it’s almost as if I can hear the clock ticking as I waste time on attitudes and issues that aren’t eternally important.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for placing these issues on my heart. Help me to love You and love others above all else. Give me the grace and the wisdom to handle conflict and negative attitudes with Your love. Help me to focus on those things that are eternally important and not the trivialities of this world, which often masquerade as desperately important. Help me to love deeply and to forgive freely and often. Help me to always be mindful of how precious and beautiful this life truly is. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

I have often said that I wish God would send me big, flashing neon signs when He wants me to do something—signs that let me know unmistakably, “This is My will for you. This is the way I want you to go.” But as I read this passage in Exodus this morning, I wondered if I did get the kind of clear message straight from God that Moses got, would I react the same way?

And I tend to think that the kind of clear sign that an action really is His will for me means that the way will be clear. He sent me. He’s with me. He’ll clear the way. But again, Exodus gives me pause. The Israelites griped and moaned and complained. They didn’t thank Moses for their deliverance. They said they’d rather die slaves with full bellies than to starve while free in the desert. Did this give Moses pause? Did he wonder if perhaps he had misunderstood? Did he question God’s direction?

Lord, Thank You for this day and for laying this passage on my heart this morning. As I type this reflection, I’m reminded of my own journey as a teacher, a calling I felt so strongly as a child, a path that has been strewn with obstacles at times, causing me to question whether this was truly the path that You wanted me to walk. A path that has also been resplendent with those shining Your light and Your hope. Thank You for Your call. Help me to always recognize when You call me, to go where You send me, and to stay the course as You lead me. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

I am trying to make a concerted effort to get better at choosing joy daily. I still have varying degrees of success, but I’m getting at least microscopically better at seeing the joy, the beauty, and the positive, even when the ”squeaky wheels” in my life are screaming.

Anxiety is something that I often find myself dealing with, but as I read this verse this morning, the phrase “with thanksgiving” jumped out at me. I try to be thankful. That’s part of choosing joy, but what if I train myself, when anxiety is great within me, to begin my prayers with, “Lord, Thank You for being with me in this situation, for the fact that I do not have to face this alone”? I really feel like that could be a game changer in my ability to follow the advice of Phil 4:6.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for Your steadfast love and presence. Thank You for the reminder that because I am not of this world and this world is not my home, I can rejoice, regardless of my circumstances, because there’s something much better waiting for me. Thank You for the reminder to approach You with a heart full of gratitude, especially in the fact that You are with me, no matter my circumstances. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

We are having a series of conversations as a church, exploring topics, brainstorming, dreaming about where our Savior may lead us. I have been “churched” my entire life and have never been a part of conversations like this. Church has always felt very established, the gears already moving—without us? In spite of us? So the idea that because we are the church, His hands and feet, we need to at times step back and look at the bigger picture and be sure we are moving in the right direction, His direction, feels so foreign, but also pretty exciting. As a church member, I have a voice in this church. I have a stake in this church. I can help make sure we are seeking His will.

Last night we talked about things like the need to share our stories with each other, the need to look at how we are serving Christ in our own lives and share that with each other, the need to be a mirror, reflecting God’s love for His people, especially those who cannot see themselves as worthy in any way (and while none of us are worthy, He loves us deeply, graciously, mercifully anyway), the need to be Christ’s hands and feet for the last, the lost, and the least, which includes all of us.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for the family of believers You have gathered in Your name. Thank You for conversations and for questions and for dreams rooted in You. Thank You for allowing us to be Your hands and feet in this weary world. Help us to keep reaching, keep loving, keep helping others, reflecting Your love, pointing them to You. Draw us closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

I remember the opening line of a book I used to read to my boys when they were little—“I love myself. I’m glad I’m me. There’s no one else I’d rather be….” At its heart, it’s a book about self-esteem, about loving yourself just as you are, just as God created you. Sometimes it’s a fine line between healthy self-esteem and narcissism, but my gut says many more folks tend to ridicule themselves instead of loving and accepting themselves as they are.

You may wonder what difference it makes. A huge one, I’d wager, given that we are to love God with all that we are and all that we have, followed closely by loving our neighbors as we love ourselves. For many, it often seems easier to love our neighbor because our inner critic reserves its vilest vitriol for a target much closer to home.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for laying this topic on my heart this morning. It’s a delicate balance to strike, this idea of self-love, because we need to love ourselves in order to love others as ourselves, but we don’t need a world of self-involved egomaniacs. Help us to see ourselves through Your eyes, Lord, to love and accept ourselves so that we can fulfill Your call to love our neighbors as ourselves. And help us always, first and foremost, to love You and pursue You with all that we are and all that we have. Draw us closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.