Month: October 2018

Today the hubs and I celebrate 21 years of marriage. When I think back over how our love story began, I see God’s guiding hand all over it, and I thank God daily for this wonderful man, so uniquely suited for me. I pray that I have been as much a blessing and helpmate to him as he has been to me over the years.

It’s no surprise that today has me reflecting back over the years, and as I look at the major events in our marriage, God is with us in the midst of the good and the bad—births, strokes, crippling losses, a heart attack, incredibly frightening parenthood moments that solidified the knowledge that even though we love these children with every fiber of our being, God loves them more and holds them in the palm of His hand. Looking ahead, I know He is in the midst of these new middle school and homeschool adventures. I know He will be with the hubs on the trail and with me while he’s gone. God has been with us every step of this marriage adventure. He won’t leave us.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for this man whom I love so very much. Thank You for 21 years of marriage in a world where every day we are together we defy the odds. Thank You for helping us through both “for better or for worse,” and for being such a vital part of our marriage, the glue that keeps us strong. Help my husband to know how deeply I love him, how much I respect and value him, and thank You, Lord, for the gift of his presence and his love in my life. Draw us daily closer to You and to each other daily. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

Lord, I need You. Help me to breathe in Your grace, to clothe myself with Your love and mercy. Help me to persevere, to be the kind, compassionate, loving person You created me to be, without feeling so completely inept and ineffective. Help me to find the balance between high standards and high expectations and compassion for shortcomings. You see my heart, Lord. Help those I serve, those I care about, to see and understand as well.

I want to recoil at the word rebellion, Lord. I’m not rebellious toward You. But anger and frustration are becoming my default, and those are not Your emotions. Cleanse my heart, Lord. Renew my spirit. Help me to tap into Your overwhelming peace and steadfast love, even as I feel gripped by frustration.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for the realization of how desperately I need You. Thank You for Your renewal and healing. Take my stony, stubborn heart, Lord, and exchange it for a tender, responsive heart that loves as You love, forgives as You forgive, serves as You serve. Draw me closer to You. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

This morning has me filled with a vague, negative emotion that I’m hard-pressed to identify. There’s nothing really I can put my finger on. I just feel like yesterday’s nonsense is creeping into today. Not cool. While trying to mentally wipe my slate clean and start fresh, the LORD brought Lam 3:22 to mind. Thank You, Jesus for Your steadfast love and for mercies that never come to an end.

My current mood reminds me of a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Lord, Thank You for this day and for Your mercies, which are new every morning. Thank You for bringing the Emerson quote to mind as I begin this new day. Thank You for the ability to finish each day and be done with it, the ability to wipe the slate clean, to turn the page. Help me to go into this new day unencumbered by yesterday’s nonsense. Help me to shine Your light and Your love. Draw me closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

Forgiveness is something I have wrestled with many times before. It feels like it ought to be easy, but when it comes right down to it, for me, often  it is not. However, verses like this one offer great perspective. Jesus was unjustly crucified on the cross. His persecutors cast lots for His clothes AS He was dying. And His final words, which could have been an eternal curse on their souls for their egregious transgressions, was to pray for His Father to forgive them because they did not know, could not understand, what they were truly doing. Help me, Jesus.

It pains me to say that I have people in my life against whom I am rather hard hearted. I feel I have been unjustly wronged. The person doesn’t even recognize there has been an offense, much less asked for forgiveness. Those who know the situation recognize all I tried to do in the situation and tell me that I am justified in my anger and bitterness. But my sweet Savior lays Matt 18:33 on my heart. He whispers, “I forgave You because of my great love for you. You did not deserve it. You did not earn it. It is a gift. Now go and do likewise.” Jesus, help me.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for reminding me of the issues I still need to take care of in my own life. Forgiveness feels so hard at times, especially when the person I need to forgive doesn’t even acknowledge the there has been a wrong. Help me to fully deal with this situation, Lord. Help me to fully forgive so that I can move past this bitterness and hardness of heart. Show me how, Lord. Guide me along Your path to mercy and grace. Draw me closer to You. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

1 Cor 13 is often seen as a wedding passage, but I think it is an excellent look at how we should treat others daily. We should love each other, be kind to each other, place others before self, check our anger and impatience with each other, keep no record of wrongs. Loving others means that we offer them a port in the storm, treat them with unconditional positive regard, persevere in love even through mistakes and missteps, both ours and theirs.

The steps to love are laid out so simply, but it is not tremendously easy to follow at times because invariably, our humanity gets in the way. We get angry, or we’re disappointed, or afraid, or sad, or we are carrying so much of our own baggage that we don’t take time to get past it to see what the other person is dealing with. Or we are so locked into our own grief that we can’t see past our pain.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for the reminder of what Your love looks like. Thank You for calling us to love each other as You love us—completely, fiercely, unconditionally. Help us to love past our own shortcomings and limitations and those of others. Help us to love each other in the spirit of 1 Cor 13. Draw us closer to each other and to You. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

It’s been a difficult few weeks for my school—much heartache and grief. I try to pay attention to my students, just to be sure they are ok. I was thinking last night about the number of students I’ve put in contact with the counselors, the nurse, admin, the school social worker this semester. So many students with so many needs.

All I’m doing is trying to pay attention. There are many adults in my school doing the same, just trying to keep an eye out, touch base with those who seem a little off today, let them know we care and want to help. It makes a world of difference. It truly does.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for the ability to make a difference, to uplift and encourage, just by paying attention. Help all of us to pay attention, Lord, to inquire when things feel a bit off, to uplift and encourage, to build each other up. Help us point each other to You. Draw us closer. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

Lord, Thank You for the care You took in creating me, for counting the hairs on my head, for knowing the length and breadth of my life. Thank You for having a plan for me and for Your steadfast love always.

Lord, You know this life can be filled with foolishness. Help me to look past all the trivial things in this life that feel vitally important but really don’t matter. Help me focus on what is important to You—Your people, Your kingdom, Your mission of love.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for my ability to praise You. Thank You that I have overwhelming victory in You, even if the world tries to say I have nothing special. Help me cling to Your truths and to remind Your people of Your love and Your promises. Draw us closer to You. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

May I be honest with you? Most days, I feel like the proverbial “hot mess.” My intentions are the best, but I make misstep after misstep. I am a wife, mother, teacher, friend, sister, and most days I manage to goof up at least one of those roles in some way—usually it’s all of them in multiple ways. The world, I’m sure, has branded me a failure and a hack; those I love, those I serve, have all at some point wondered what in the world I was thinking when I did something. My mistakes are many. My fears are great. The temptation to hide my soft underbelly so others can’t hurt me with my failings is incredibly strong. But my amazing Savior is stronger.

My Savior says, “I’ve got you. I love you. I know your heart. I’ve seen your mistakes, and I love you anyway. Deeply. Completely. Fiercely.” My blessed Redeemer says, “I need you to show your vulnerability so that others will understand that it’s okay to be imperfect, to mess up, to be human and fallible and a mess. I need them to understand my strength is perfected in weakness. I need you to show your humanity so that they understand the depth of My love. Always. Help Me show them they don’t have to be perfect to be perfectly loved and fully forgiven by Me.”

Lord, Thank You for this day and for allowing me to share my messy, mixed up, misstep-filled, crazy life. Help others to see You, Your incredible, inclusive, healing love and Your grace through my life and my words. Help us all to recognize that You gave us each other to be Your hands and feet in this life, to love, to forgive, to encourage, to help walk each other closer to You. Draw us closer, Lord. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

I’ve never considered myself to be particularly athletic. I don’t remember playing sports as a kid. I’m not terribly graceful or coordinated. But I have found as I age that I enjoy running. I don’t know that I’m particularly good at it, but I am tenacious. My preferred length is anywhere from 5 miles to 13.1. I don’t do sprints. I’m not fast. But I can dig deep and persevere, and there is a lot to be said for that.

Unfortunately, I’ve fallen out of the running habit of late, and to start again, I’ll have to start at the beginning. My strength, my endurance, it’s gone from disuse. But not so with my spiritual training. Everything that I read, that I study, it’s all still rattling around in my brain. Sometimes God brings verses to mind out of nowhere. Sometimes it takes a while for the meaning of a verse to really click. But God uses it all. Nothing is wasted.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for the analogy of spiritual training and physical training like I do for running. Thank You that time, study, and prayer make a difference in my ability to comprehend Your word and to recognize Your presence. Thank You for the tenacity that You built into the fiber of my being and for the fact that nothing in this life is wasted. You can use it all to draw us all closer to You. Draw is ever closer, Lord. Amen.

Have a blessed day.

Lord, You are my center, my shelter, my fortress. When the storms of life assail me, You protect me like the beloved child I know I am. When I am unsure of which way to turn, You guide me. When I am afraid, You gently whisper Your promises. When I mess up and feel utterly worthless, You remind me who I am and Whose I am. I am deeply loved, and I am Yours, Lord. Give me strength and courage.

Lord, I try to do what’s right. I try to be a good wife, mother, friend, teacher, sister. Help me when I feel I’ve given my all and it doesn’t seem to be enough. Help me when I want so dearly to help and encourage those I love and everything I do seems to have the opposite effect. Give me strength, wisdom, discernment, compassion, joy.

Lord, Thank You for this day and for understanding where I am even when I flounder trying to put it into words. Thank You for being my anchor through good times and bad. Thank You for recognizing my efforts and for encouraging me to stay the course, even when it seems to take every ounce of strength. Draw me closer to You. Restore my soul. Amen.

Have a blessed day.